The Times of Prep

Sometimes it seems like the only way that I will get my call is by preparation. This past few days I have not only felt unprepared for anything that will come, but I haven't focused one tiny bit on my preparation. I have tried so valiantly for months, I need to get over this stupid stupid bump that I'm set in. I would love some help :). Only problem is this, Jonny doesn't know who to ask! I feel like I'm back in my rut, where I have no best friend, and I was hoping that would go away very quickly when regaining a few long lost friends, but still, I have no best friend! I am so confused. Anyway, I will go up after this post and ready, negatory, I will STUDY my scriptures fully. Sometimes we find that we're just reading to read, and at some points in life that is what needs to happen, but at this time, I need to read, not only to read, learn and feel the spirit, but to participate in studying WITH the spirit as my guide. With it as my light. With the spirit as my all in all. The mind is a terrible thing to waste, and yet it's a terrible thing to trust as well. I can no longer trust in what my 'physical needs as a teenage boy' are, as that is what I have so heavily relied on my entire life, but in what my 'SPIRITUAL NEEDS AS A SERVANT OF MY HEAVENLY FATHER' are. The word SERVANT is a very funny and interesting word. When used in the 1800's that word started a war. When used in feudel
China, it would save a life to be the servant of a king. Yet when used in the context of a missionary, it becomes a sacred word, one that can only describe what a missionary truly does. We serve. We are servants of a king. I am what will end an eternal war with Lucifer for some of those that are in need of my service. In times past, servants have been given or shipped because of their race. Now I, as a servant of my Savior, my brother, am chosen to be shipped and given to a certain mission by my religion. Other servants devote themselves to their master. But in my situation, if I devote my whole heart, my mind, my all, my Master will devote Himself to me. There is no better deal. I'm trading two years of my life (which would be a tenth of my life so far, funny how the tithes work in lives as well :D) for a lifetime of my Savior by my side, leading me to the path that should be chosen. It sounds like a steal, yet all He asks is for me to do my best to not only bring sould to Him, but to stay with Him so that I can continue in this service. A life time of service on my part is worth a life time of guidence on His part. Oh the joys of the gospel. There honestly is nothing better. No person, no attribute, no thing can come anywhere near the joy the gospel will bring.