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Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Missing Mrs. G...

Why do I even miss you? You weren't always there when I was growing up. We ALWAYS fought, in fact, we still do! You never let me hang out with you and your friends. You rarely said you loved me. You never respected my opinion. You always laughed at me. You never gave me anything. You never took me out. You never even smiled at me.

So why do I sit here, and miss ya? Maybe it's because I couldn't see you there, because you were behind me, supporting me. Maybe we really fought because you were trying to help me, save me from myself. Maybe you didn't let me hang with you guys, because you knew how they would treat me. Maybe you didn't have to say you loved me, because you showed it everyday. Maybe you didn't just respect it, but cherished it. Maybe you weren't laughing at me, but with me, all the time. Maybe you gave me everything you could. Maybe you didn't take me out, because you stayed with me when I needed you the most. Maybe I didn't notice you smiling at me, because you were always smiling at me, giving me the courage I've needed.

Maybe you weren't the worst sister ever, but were one of the best. Thanks for being the great sister I've needed to get me where I've needed in my life.

That's why I miss you.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Why to Fight...

Animals fight over territory and strength. The harder you fight the stronger you are. If you can beat the opposite animal in your fight, you are deemed as the stronger animal. You are the winner and the other is... Well, dead. That's how the wild works. That's how these animals work.

Strangely, that's also how humans work. Isn't it funny that we are so much like animals when it comes to this quality? We fight and fight and fight and fight all the time with everyone, if we can. We'll fight over territory sure, and yes we fight over strength, but we fight over the smaller things BEFORE we'll fight over what matters. Think about  it, we fight just like a lion or some other animal would fight. I mean we pay lawyers to fight for us. The better the lawyer, the better the possibility it is for us to win, for us to beat our opponent at this fight. Sure we don't usually kill each other, and I guess that's where the biggest difference lies.

We will fight over and over and over about the smallest subjects, about the weirdest little things and when we fight over things like this, the winner often feels like the loser, the weaker one when the fight is over. That's what makes us the stronger animals. When we fight over the dumb things and win, sure we won the battle, but ultimately we lose the war. It's the dumb little things that most of the time mean the most. It's the small things that lead to the big break ups. It's the small that make the large. The winner than becomes the loser somewhere in this process. Sure it may not come immediately, but you definitely feel it later, especially when the person you love is hurt.

It seems like that's another difference between us and animals. They fight over strength, but it's rarely a fight with family or loved ones. They share territory with their family and only fight when it comes to an enemy. They do all they can to actually protect the ones they love. It seems sometimes that we hurt those we love the most, and for no actual apparent reason sometimes. It seems like we fight all the time with those we love, and for what? If you look back on the fights you have with those you care most about, what was the final outcome? You can probably remember that, but what was the fight over? Nothing is usually the answer for me. I look back and see what we fought over and remember what happened in the end, but can't come to remember what the fight was about.

Why can't we just see the end from the beginning of the fight and decide if the ending is worth it? If we could step back, in the heat of the moment, and look at where the arguement is going, we would be stronger than the animals that fight over tough matters like strength and territory. I can't remember how many fights I've been in, but I need to take this principle in my life and learn to just let it go and move on. I need to learn that I love those people too much to let them go. I need to learn that I shouldn't fight with them over the small stuff that doesn't matter anymore. It always ends up hurting more than helping. I've never had a small fight that has ended in a happy manner, ever. I wish I could've thought of this earlier and realized that it's something that always hinders.

People say, don't keep things bottled up, it's bad for you to keep things in there for years. I say bottle them up and poke some holes in the top so you can let it out! There's no need to keep things bottled up. There's no need to let that bottle get so full it explodes. That's a whole mess of ugly that no one needs to experience or cause. Let drama stay on stage and out of your life. That's what'll bring you true happiness.

Try being more like an animal, it might help when it comes to arguements.
Food for thought :)

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

The Train Can Always Be Fixed

In 1958 there were two train crashes in the same week. Luckily, no passengers were injured or killed, but the trains were a wreck. Both were not totally destroyed, but they definitely needed some serious fixing up that's for sure. After all of the spilled materials were taken care of, the two companies each got seperate repair men to fix their destroyed trains. One of the repairmen went straight ahead and fixed it up. He didn't talk to anyone about pay or anything like that, he just did the work and finished fixing the train in a few days. His train was then carrying passengers a few days after it's full repair.

The second repair man decided to repair his train a little differently. He demanded pay first. When the company wouldn't give him what he wanted, he refused work. He knew they couldn't find anyone better, so he thought it would be better if he made his demands and remained stubborn until he thought the company would give in. Well, the company never did give in and the train he was asked to fix eventually just got taken apart and used in other machines. The man gave up his chance to fix his train wreck that would profit him. He gave it up because he refused to recieve less, he refused to fix something that wasn't going to be giong his way the whole time.

The first man not only fixed this train, but was able to repair many others and became a very happy man by inventing new, quick ways to fix these trains. He became a valuable resource and a very popular guy.

I promise, I"m not obsessed with trains. But let's compare these train wrecks, and their seperate repair men t relationships and the different ways to fix and or ruin a relationship.

If we follow the first mans actions and not ask what's in it for us, but rather enjoy the work we do and try to make the train or relationship stronger, we will end up fixing the relationship that might have been wrecked during one time or another. We can't always demand everything, we have to give and take. We also can't wait for it to fix itself, or be stubborn about getting all that you want. Just because you WANT something doesn't mean you NEED it. Most of the time we can do with out wants. Sometimes we need wants, but mostly we should focus on wanting needs. When we truly focuse on wanting needs, there we will find true happiness.

If we end up like the man who demands everything. Who won't work because the conditions aren't what he wanted, we will find ourselves very unhappy. He demanded and refused while the other complied and infused. He was able to infuse ideas and still was able to fix the train. He was a lot more successful because he saw the ETERNAL perspective.

Sometimes, when it comes to relationships, we have to not only give and take but give and give and give and give. It's alright. I don't understand why so many men decide that they HAVE to wear the pants. They have to be incharge. They're way too stubborn to actually admit they were wrong or even give when it comes fixing something. When being stubborn, you never really see the end, just the now.

So how many trains can you fix in a day? 1? 10? 1000? We all have different trains in our lives, we can only learn if we fix them correctly and do our best to keep them that way. In there will bring eternal happiness.

And by the way, I hate trains.
Food for thought :)